oh shoot, my 30s are rapidly approaching

and I'm building a life that feels authentically "mine"

As I sit here writing this, I’m exactly one week out from my “golden” birthday. Yep, I’m turning 30 on the 30th! There’s something poetic about reaching this milestone in such a numerologically satisfying way, especially as I find myself in perhaps the most grounded period of my life. Despite the turmoil of recent events (the TikTok ban/resurrection, Trump’s 2nd administration, the announcement of 75 jaw-dropping executive orders today…) I’m feeling grounded enough to tackle it head-on, and in a sustainable, confident way.

Famous last words? Maybe! But the intersection of this moment with the dawn of my 30s…gives me hope.

When I started my career in royal commentary at 26, I couldn’t have predicted where this path would take me. Back then, in the bleak environs of 2021, I was just beginning to navigate the murky waters of content creation, and trying to carve out a space where I could speak authentically about the monarchy. I gave myself an uphill battle, covering not just the glitz and glamour but also the real, noteworthy narratives that keep us tuned into the lives of these very unrelatable figures.

Four years later, I’ve built something of which I’m genuinely proud. While some might find it ironic that a leftist millennial has made a career analyzing an inherently conservative institution, I’ve always believed thats precisely what makes my perspective valuable. It’s the same reason that now, more than ever, liberals should resist calls to divest from platforms like X and Meta. Our perspectives are valuable. We can acknowledge the complexity of tradition while advocating for progress.

The recent TikTok ban discussions have been a wake-up call for many content creators, myself included. They have reminded me of something I’ve always known but sometimes forgot in the hustle of building and maintaining an audience: the importance of owning your platform and creative products. While social media has been instrumental in growing my community, my writing has always been my foundation. More than that, my passion lies in learning about a topic and then synthesizing that knowledge—distilling it for wider education. It’s the reason I got two degrees in museum studies; far from regretting going to college and then grad school, I can now directly credit that training to my content creation style. This Substack, my short-form video analysis, the deeper dives into historical context…these are the elements of my work that truly belong to me.

In the last year, I was offered what would have been my biggest sponsorship deal to date—the kind of opportunity that would have made my 26-year-old self’s jaw drop. But it involved promoting content that would have undermined the Hollywood writers’ strike. The old me might have agonized over turning down that kind of money, especially in this economy. But my decision was almost immediate: it had to be a no. Maybe that’s what growing up really means. It’s not that your choices become easier (this particular “no” almost certainly cost me future opportunities), but it’s that you become more certain of what you stand for. You own your choices and your values.

As I approach 30, this idea of ownership extends beyond my professional life. I’m getting married this year (ahhhhhhhh) and I’ve been living with a partner for the first time since August 2024. When I was a little girl, that was what I daydreamed about. Not so much the white wedding, but building a life and a home with someone else. Romantic love was the vehicle for a true partnership in my mind. Living out what felt like a fantasy all those years ago remains surreal, and sometimes, I just take a step back to admire what we’ve built together, and how I positioned myself to receive it.

Living together has been its own kind of revelation. There’s something deeply satisfying about building a home with someone, about the mundane moments that make up a life together. It couldn’t be farther from the fairytale narratives we’re often sold—and yet it feels more magical precisely because it’s real. It actually happens.

Since we’re on the topic of ownership and identity, I have to tell you that I’ve been reflecting on the loaded decision of what to do about my name after marriage. I’ve decided to take my fiancé’s surname in my private life while maintaining my maiden name professionally (whatever that means in 2025 and beyond). His family has welcomed me with open arms, and I can’t help but also feel that taking his name will make me sound more like a character in a Jane Austen novel, which is always a good thing. This, to me, represents a choice that feels both traditional and modern—like many aspects of my life.

The phrase “maiden name” keeps catching in my throat, too; it’s one of those linguistic remnants that suddenly seems out of place, a reminder that even our vocabulary around marriage needs updating. Perhaps that’s fitting for someone who spends their days (and sometimes nights) analyzing an ancient institution through a contemporary lens.

It’s funny—after years of analyzing royal marriages and relationships in the public eye, I’m experiencing my own major life transition with at least a few eyes on me for updates. Comments about this being “our royal wedding” pop up every time I share a planning update on social media. At least I get to do all of this on my own terms, away from the pomp and ceremony and state significance that comes with royal unions.

Looking ahead to my 30s, I feel a sense of optimism that surprises even me. Maybe it’s because I’ve spent years examining the lives of people bound by tradition and protocol…but I’ve never felt more appreciative of my freedom to shape my life exactly as I want it. My career path isn’t traditional, my perspectives aren’t always popular, and my course in life isn’t what I imagined at, say, 22. But it’s authentically mine.

To my fellow millennials approaching or navigating their 30s: we’re doing all right. We’re building careers that didn’t exist a decade ago and creating new ways of thinking about work, relationships, and success. We’re questioning institutions while acknowledging the value of tradition. We’re making it up as we go along, and that’s not just okay. It’s exactly as it should be.

As for me? I’m stepping into my 30s with a clear sense of who I am and what I value. I’ve built a career analyzing one of the world's oldest institutions through a modern lens. I’ve found love that feels both exciting and steady every day. I’ve created a platform that is (and will remain) truly mine.

So here’s to golden birthdays, growing older, and building a life that feels real. Tiara optional.